David asked me to buy 12 packs of sausage so he could mix them with his venison and make bratwurst. When I was putting package after package of sausage in the cart at the grocery store Colt said, "Mom! Why are you getting so many? You need to leave some for everyone else. You need to always share!"

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Waiting for David at the gas station: "Mom, where is Dad? I'm ready to ROLL THESE WHEELS!"

Colt's Jesus Song

Well, the other day we had some friends over so the kids could play. When they left I hopped in the shower because Colt and Kylie were both taking their afternoon nap. BUT, when I got out, I heard a woman's voice downstairs saying," Is anyone home? Is there anyone here?" Ok, that was a little shocking, but I went down and there was a neighbor with Colt! He had woken up disoriented, and had unlocked the door and gone out! The neighbor found him crying at the end of our driveway!

That was terrifying. I guess I'll have to triple lock the doors or something. That was a first for sure. Anyways, I decided to make sure Colt knew his address. And I think he got it, for the most part. . .

"607 Apple Drive - Wake Forest, NORTH POLE!" (obviously I wrote a pseudo address down for any stalkers out there -ha!), but the North Pole part. . . must be Christmas?

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I was preparing to leave for graduation at SEBTS on Friday, Colt said, "I want to go to SALIVATION too, Mom!"

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When the black checker pieces were missing this morning, my dad asked Colt how we would find them? Colt said, "The Holy Spirit."

We were all sitting together tonight, when Colt decided we should all act out the nativity scene. "Dad, you be Joseph."

"I will be a wise man."

"Kylie is always baby Jesus, because she's a baby."

" Mom (who is holding Kylie at the time), you be the hay."

Hay? Really? . . . I suppose that's an important part too. But I was thinking Mary maybe?

Colt singing: "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the STREEEET!" (I guess that makes sense to you Son?)

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I was talking to a lady from church, and when she walked away Colt ran up to me and yelled, "WHAT'S THE NEWS, MOM?!" (where did you learn that phrase anyways?)

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"Mom, when you took me to school, you were picking your nose and Mrs. Tammy told you not to pick your nose."

Um, no I don't think so Colt. . . But, did she tell YOU that?

"Oh yeah, that was me."

Colt is in a stage where he says "what?" like 700x (and no, I'm not exaggerating). . . after I have repeated myself those 700x, I KNOW he MUST have heard me at least once. So, today I told him he COULD NOT say "what?" until he had stopped to think about what that person had said. If he still couldn't figure it out, then he could say, "Would you please repeat yourself?"

That seemed to go over well. Later, I said something to him. . . and he replied, "Please COMPLETE yourself!!"

I was looking at baby stuff online today. Colt came by and said, "What are you looking at Mom? Oh! Are you having another baby?!"

No, I'm not having a baby Colt. . . just needed to look at something.

"Oh, I think you are going to have another baby Mom. Your stomach is kind of out."

Wow. Thanks Colt. You sure know how to win a woman's heart.

Colt is going through a phase (at least I HOPE it's a phase) where he enjoys saying and talking about poop. Lovely, I know. So we have a new rule:

POOP RULE: YOU CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT POOP IN THE BATHROOM (I would just hate to deprive him of that altogether you know? After all, he IS a boy).

Well, the other day we were skyping with my parents when all of the sudden Colt runs out of the room! I watched him run to the bathroom door, stick his head in, whisper "poop," and run back.

Must have had some urge, eh?

When Colt says, "Mommy don't look back here (in the car), or Mommy don't come in here, or Mommy how about you stay over there for a minute.". . . that REALLY means, he's doing something he knows he shouldn't be doing. Oh my. The training, can't wait for this phase to end. At least he gives himself away when he is about to disobey :-)

"Mom, let's pretend you are God and I need help. So, I'm going to be scared and I will call you and you will never leave me, ok?"

Precious.

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Colt deserved 3 spankings by noon the other day. He knew it. So, he said, "Dad, let's pretend you are God and take me to heaven!"

I was looking at Colt's pictures with him that he had taken with his little camera. I just could not figure out what one of them was. . . so I asked, "Colt what is that?"

He said, "I think that's AMERICA, Mom!"

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Warning, Possible TMI:

After pooping today, Colt informed me that there were 3 POOPS IN THE TOILET! Just like he is 3! Does it get much cooler than this folks? I think not.

Colt has 2 new habits to break - not only do we need to stop picking the nose, but we also need to stop saving the boogers to wipe on Mommy. Gross. I guess that's a better option than the wall though? Just trying to look on the bright side.

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In the store today, Colt told me he could count to 100. I thought that would be a GREAT way to pass the time and told him to go for it. "1,2,3. . . . (up to). . . 18, 19, 20, TWENTY ONE HUNDRED!!"

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Another thing we need to work on is the concept of time I suppose:

Colt when was the last time you went to the potty?

"I just went on Sunday Mom!"

Well it's Monday now, Son.

Colt did you wash your hands?

"I just washed them on August Mom."

Well it's October now, Son.

Last night David was talking to Colt about why he deserved a spanking. Colt had such a sweet spirit about it all. . . I guess that is why David decided to give him grace and not spank him. THAT, prompted David to explain that he was going to show grace like God showed us grace.

Well, today Colt disobeyed at church and David had to spank him (shocking I know - you would think it's a daily thing huh?). Colt and David talked about what he had done wrong and why he was getting a spanking. Then Colt said, "Okay Dad. Are you going to show me grace?"

(In the car this morning)

"Mommy, where are we going?"

"We are going to preschool Colt."

"Well, you are going to wrong way. You missed the turn."

"I sure did, didn't I? Thanks Colt."

(While driving tonight) "Colt, do you see that HUGE cloud up in the sky in front of car?"

"Oh man! I hope we don't hit it!! I'm just teasing Mom, we're not going to hit that cloud."

What a jokester. And you are only 3.

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We went to Dicks Sporting Goods store with Daddy tonight. You like that store. You like the section where you can actually try out the golf clubs and hit the balls :-) I spotted this crazy tennis shoe that had every color in the rainbow on it. I thought you would think that was cool, but the first thing out of your mouth was, "I wonder where the other shoe is Mom?" (It was a wall of shoe displays with just one of each pair).

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It's also very amusing to me when you use phrases like:

"So Mom, what do you think about. . . ?"

"Well ACTUALLY. . . "

"So, what are my options again?"

Bad Word

Getting something out of the refrigerator and dropped the butter...

Dad - "oh, crap"

Colt - "dad, don't say shit - that's a bad word"

Colt has been on a roll recently:

Lately he has been quite passionate about brushing his teeth (several times a day). Last night, he brought his toothbrush and toothpaste to me, but I wanted to put his pajamas on first. So he put them down. . . and before I knew it I guess he thought it would be fun to JUMP ON THE TOOTHPASTE! Note to self Colt: "this produces an explosion of blue toothpaste on the white carpet." That was exciting.

Today we were reading a book about animals. He was telling me, "Gorillas are mean, Mom. But CHIMPOLINES are really nice!" (Chimpanzee-Trampoline mix maybe? Not sure)

I know I'm not an artist, but Colt usually asks me to draw pictures with him anyway. Tonight was a request for race cars on a road. I didn't think it was THAT bad, but Colt informed me that it looked like an alligator. Go figure.

We've been reading Bible stories before naps and bedtime. . . Colt has been really looking forward these stories, and actually was teaching some to Kylie. He told her about the Tower of EYEBALL where God made the people speak different languages because they were trying to get to heaven. But that's not how you get to heaven Kylie. Jesus is how you get to heaven." That was so sweet to me - minus the "Tower of Eyeball" part.

LASTLY, I walked into Colt's room while he was playing with a friend, and he told me to leave! Well, we had a little discussion on how that is not kind and it hurts people's feelings. He shouldn't say that to anyone, especially not to Mommy who loves him so so much! Needless to say, I did NOT leave. About a minute later he said to me, "Mommy, you need to go see what Daddy is doing." That was clever Colt.

"Mommy, let's pretend you are sick. Ok Mom?"

Ok Colt.

"Are you sick?"

Yes.

"Do you have a Mommy?"

Yes, why?

"I will call her. She will make you better."

(heart melting - I love him)

(It's 9am)"Mommy, I need to rest. It's been a loooooong day."

Yes Colt, that's what happens when you habitually wake up before 6am. I need a nap too.

Kylie was jibber jabbing away to Colt this evening. I asked Colt was she was saying. He said, "she wants to marry me. Yep, we are going to get married." Oh dear. Where to begin son?

Colt gets a lot of "wedgies" in the car - I think because he doesn't like to sit still. Nevertheless, it cracked me up when he said, "MAMA! I can't get my wedgie out! It keeps hitting my butt!!"

While waiting in line for ice cream at the delicious Coldstone Creamery, Colt just couldn't resist the urge to reach up and SMACK the man directly in front of us RIGHT IN THE "backside/bum/rear end/booty/tush/cheeks/buns/bottom/rump" - no matter how you say it, it's still embarrassing!!! I could not believe it, and I think this was the FIRST time that my face actually became red with embarrassment because of something my child did in public. David and I didn't even know what to say. . . but we apologized to the man and then explained to Colt why we DO NOT do that. . .

"Mommy, Kylie (2 months old) just said ENGLAND!" Really Colt? I thought she was crying?

David, who has been working on a bathroom remodel and also ran 6 miles with a friend this morning, said "I'm sore!"

Colt replied, "I'm SWORD too Daddy! Yep, I'm sword."

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We went to the park early this morning and Colt was riding his bike all around. There were tons of people walking/running. Colt tried to talk to most of them as they ran by. He kept asking this older gentleman what his name was. The gentleman wasn't being rude, but he obviously had lost his hearing in his old age. Colt just couldn't understand why he was answering his question! I think Colt asked him what his name was about 10-12 times. Oh my.

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Trying to pass the time while we wait in the car we often play "I Spy." Today I pointed out an American flag ON TOP of the Home Depot store. Colt saw it . . . then said, "who left that up there Mommy?"

Mom, you need to make me MARRIED so I can have a baby. . . (yep, that's what he said. I made him clarify about 10 times).

Colt, are you pretending?
"No. I am for realing!"
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"Mom, we need to love beachudder (each other)."
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After trying to console his crying baby sister by giving her the pacifier and singing, he gave up and said, "Mom I think she's hungry."

TOP 3 today:

"Dad! It's DARKY!!"

"If Mrs. Jenn lost her house, I would give her my house. Then I would just get another house."

"Mom, maybe I should sleep with you tonight. Maybe that's an idea."

(The other evening) - "OH MAN!!"

What's wrong Colt?

"The sky is getting dark!!"

What's wrong with that?

"That means it's time for BED!"

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(On the way home from church today while inspecting one of his scrapes on his leg) - "MOM! I got hair on my leg! I got hair on my leg like Daddy!!!"

I had taught Colt the Spanish words for boy and girl sometime last week: "Chico and Chica." He surprised me today while reading the same book, when the little boy page came he said, "Mom is he a Cheetoh or Cheetah?"

Colt: "I want to go live at Mrs. Jenn's house. Our house is too fandy."

"What do you mean by fandy Colt?"

Colt: (He pointed at the fans) "We have to many of those."

Colt L.O.V.E.S golf! He actually sat on David's lap and watched a golfing tournament for about an hour. . . loving every second. I would just laugh because he was CONSTANTLY asking questions (I'm sure David was loving that). Colt's famous line from watching that golf tourney is "He's a good shotter-man!"

When I asked what his favorite sport was, it went something like this:
"Which is your favorite, Golf or Baseball?" = Golf.
"Which is your favorite, Golf or Football?" = Golf.
"Which is your favorite, Golf or Basketball?" = Golf.
"Ok, so which is your SECOND favorite. . . baseball or basketball?" = Golf.

Colt's greatest made up word: "Superly!"

For an example on it's usage - "Mommy, is it raining? I want it to rain SUPERLY harder!"
or. . . "Oh MOOOOMMY! I am SUPERLY excited!"

Makes me smile.

We were test driving a truck this evening (craigslist). Colt decided to climb over the seat to get his shoes - I said, "Colt! You can't climb all over cars. Especially this car - it's not even ours." He just looked at me and said, "Ok Mommy, but maybe this is a truck."

I had to laugh.
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Tonight, Colt randomly asked me if I was a "nurse." At first, I thought he called me a NERD! haha. . . But, he quickly corrected me and called me "nurse" instead of "mommy" the rest of the night :-)

"Mommy! Look at my pretty horsey!"

"What's your horse's name Colt?"

"Ummm, maybe it's Lips."

The names that he comes up with off the top of his head are usually (Lips, Lups, Mups, Wups. . . etc.) Interesting indeed.

"Daddy! I just broke my toe! Can I have a new one?"

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"Mommy, I am a CALENDAR!" (What???)

We were playing baseball tonight in the backyard with Colt. David missed the ball (PROBABLY because of Colt's throw - ha), but Colt said "Daddy, you know why you missed it? Because you didn't keep the ball on your eye!"

(I think he meant "keep your eye on the ball")

I told Colt he couldn't have any more fruit snacks because he wasn't willing to share them -

Colt: "I am sharing. I am shareful!"

Definition of a "good boy" according to Colt:

1. Hug things
2. Kiss things
3. Smile
4. Brush your teeth
5. Wear clothes

David asked him who taught him those things, and Colt said "God did!" We asked him to let us know next time he talked to God. Colt said God gave him kisses too.

Colt: "Mom, can I please have some milk and craisins?"

Colt: "Mom, will juice make my teeth fall out?" (I must have accidentally gave him a complex about cavities and his teeth falling out! Don't worry, we just discussed it)

Random. I love him.

"Mom, is this CHRISTMAS?!" was the first thing out of his mouth when we pulled into a cute antique store decorated with white Christmas lights. . .

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Once, we talked about cavities and why we brush our teeth. . . now, EVERY time I say "it's time to brush your teeth," Colt responds "Are my teeth falling out? Are they black?"

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He went to my OB appt. today for baby Kylie, and it was so funny - everything the doctor said, Colt responds: "That's AMAZING!"

Coltisms

(Walking to the park yesterday) "Mommy, it's soooo bright and Sunday out here!"

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Colt: "I've got some punny (money) Mom."
Me: "Oh really. Where is your punny?"
Colt: "In my butt."

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Everytime I do something for him, he responds, "Thank you MY MAN!"

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David and I were having an "adult conversation" over dinner a few night ago. Colt was just sitting there eating, and asked, "What did you say Mommy?" I said, "oh nothing. . . Mommy was just talking to Daddy." Then Colt repeated EXACTLY what I had said. . . which was kind of personal and long - so that was amazing and noteworthy to remember what NOT to say in front of him anymore.

White Skies

It's like a torrential flood outside today. Sometimes I just find your observations so interesting. . . we were riding in the car with the rain pouring down, it was very overcast outside and you noticed the color of the sky.

"Mommy, the sky is supposed to be white or blue?" Well. . . it WAS white. You are correct, and then we had an in depth science lesson on the colors of the sky and why they change :-) - ok maybe not.

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I took you to the doctor with me yesterday. After listening to the baby's heart beat, the doctor asked you what you thought about that? After a thoughtful pause, you said, "That's AMAZING!"

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We played at the park for hours yesterday evening. I must say you have really come out of your shy shell and don't meet a stranger these days. You were the only kid that played with EVERY child on the playground. I could hear your laugh above the rest about every other minute. You were cracking me up, and having such a great time! I just let you play with the kids, but wished I could have heard every word spoken between all of you (that would have had me running constantly for 2 hours though).

Some of the things I DID hear you say that made me smile though:

To another child "You are sooo funny!"

"I am Colt, and I'm going to have a baby sister!" (this made me almost tear up. You are going to be an awesome big brother)

An older child asked if you knew what 5+5 was. You said "ummmm." He said, "ten." You said, "Yes, it's 10." Not quite there yet buddy. haha.

Meticulous

I love that as you walk by an open door, you close it. . . . or if the corner of the rug is flipped up, you fix it - but you still make 2-year-old-boy mess any other time!

I love that you can't eat without a napkin to wipe your hands, your mouth, and the table after what seems like every bite - but you can play for hours outside and not mind a bit that you are covered from head to toe with dirt, sand, and mud.

I love that you lined up all of your animals in a perfect row - couldn't resist a picture!







I guess I love these things. . . because I see that you are a lot like me, and that makes me smile :-)

Just Terrible

Mommy: "Colt in just a little bit we are going to go see your buddy Kephas, and on the way home we can stop at the park and play okay?" - btw those are 2 of Colt's most favorite things.

Colt: "Oh man! That will about be terrible!"

Mommy: "Terrible?"

Colt: "Yes. That will be TERR-I-BLE."

(how dramatic can a boy really be? oh dear.)

Colt's Granddaughter

We were over at our neighbors playing the Wii this evening. David and Frank were playing golf - characters Tiger Woods and John Daly. According to Colt, Tiger Woods was "his daddy" and John Daly was "his granddaughter."

Your granddaughter Colt? Really??

"Yes, my granddaughter."

No ma'am

Colt: "Dad are you ok?

Dad: "Yes sir"

Colt: "Don't say 'yes sir' to me"

Dad: "What do you want me to say to you?"

Colt: "Say 'no ma'am' to me"

Dad: "No ma'am"

Colt: "good job"

Pizza Night

COLT: "Mommy, can I help you make the pizza?"

ME: "Well sure you can" as I sit him up on the counter (safety first you know)

COLT: "Thank you Mommy!! Thank you!! You make me sooo happy!"

After I laugh to myself. . . and we pull the pizza crust out of the oven - - - -

COLT: "A rectangle Mommy! You made me a rectangle! Thank you! That is AMAZING!" (I am NOT making this up. . . the kid was cracking me up with his enthusiasm)

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Colt's prayer for his pizza dinner:

(Note: we have been encouraging him to "branch out" and pray a little more than "God, thank you for the food. Amen." I think he got it.)

"God, thank you for this pizza, and my plate, and my fork, and my milk, and my cup, and thank you that Mommy woke up (I had been sleeping off a night shift from work). And thank you for Mommy's pizza, and Mommy's plate, and Mommy's water. And thank you for Daddy at school. AMEN."

Funny things from today. . .

Daddy: "Colt, we are going to see your #1 girlfriend!"

Colt: "MOMMY?!"

Daddy: "Well. . . no, I guess it's your #2 girlfriend then."

Colt: "Aubrey."

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Colt: "I sure do need to use the potty. I think my baby is coming out!"

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Mommy: "Where are you going Colt?"

Colt: "Texas." (random)

You are a songwriter now Colt!! I keep thinking to myself we need to record some of your "music." This would include songs like "Dog" and "Wiggle" that make absolutely no sense, but you sing them on your own little made up way :-)

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We laid you down for a nap after we got home from church today. . about 10 minutes later (and I could hear you talking in there the whole time anyways) you came out and said, "I had a GOOD nap!"

I told you I didn't think you had taken a nap. . .

"I DID have a good nap?"

"No. . . go back to bed Colt."

"Awwww man. . ."

To stink or not to stink. . .

Papaw Randy relayed this story to me yesterday of the laughable events while Mommy and Daddy were out and about:

We had just laid you down for your nap and left to run some errands, when you ran out of your room here at Nana and Gramps saying, "DADDY! I have to potty!!"

So, Gramps asked if you needed any help. You said, "No. I'm fine. And Gramps. . . you may want to close the door because IT MIGHT STINK!"